Floating Bliss

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Jumping off the cliff without hesitation. Full of confidence. Adrenalin surging through my veins in such a high intensity I have never experienced, as though I have injected some artificially directly into my veins.

My smile can not be contained as I come to the realisation that I have completed my life dream and am in fact flying as god intended a bird to fly. Flying at 100 miles an hour, wind presurising my face keeping my hair in place. Admiring the view of the forest below, a river in the near distance rapidly approaching. I am not worried, I am nothing but happy. Nothing but ecstatic. High on adrenaline.

I land in the water with ease. Swim to shore, get in a car and drive back up. I have to jump again. I have to feel this feeling.

Up in the cliff I jump again without hesitation. I am hooked to this feeling. I have spent my life afraid that I would get addicted to something, I don’t drink coffee, I don’t do drugs, I don’t need alcohol, but I need this. Adrenaline is the most addictive drug.

I land again crashing into the water without a problem. Then there is an issue at the cars, and it becomes dark, I cannot jump again, but that is ok I have tomorrow.

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“Are you guyz coming to the farm” the words of my housemate awake me. I look but don’t respond. I begin trying to comprehend where I was, and the feelings induced.

It was the most vivid dream I can remember. The best feeling I have ever felt. Scared of heights, base jumping is now my number 2 life goal, the first being summit a significant peak on a beautiful mountain.

I see this reality with my eyes, the real world, yet the image in my head is the jump, the joy of flying. My body is here but my mind is flying, my heart has been stolen. I go to the toilet, I brush my teeth, but all I see is myself in 3rd person flying. Jumping off the cliff and landing in the river below.

Distracted all day, during every conversation, I don’t want to be here, I want to be base jumping. I want to be in my dream. I long to go back, to feel what I felt. I havn’t been home in 14 months, I am volunteering in Uganda, east Africa, I am living the life, but I wish I was living my dream.

Addicted to this feeling, I want to go back. Like I have taken a shot of heroin and now I can never return.

I want to go back. I have to go back. I will. This dream must become reality.

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